I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
