The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
