a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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