We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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