I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
