Duck Duck Cougar?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
