Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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