So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
