just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She bit a glass in half.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Boobs are out for the taking
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
