What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
