okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
