you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
