Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
