i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
