After last night, I could never be a politician.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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