So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
