Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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