Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You've changed since you got that strap on
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