then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
