I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
