Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
