only if we run a train.
done.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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