I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
