Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
