You really coming over, don't trick.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the day after is always just damage control
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
