The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
