That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
