I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is my gift to your gina
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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