Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
