Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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