I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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