Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
