Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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