i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize