She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
