only if we run a train.
done.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
