I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
