I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
