I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So many bounce houses so little time
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
