is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
