also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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