I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
