I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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