he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
