I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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