Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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