We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize