paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
