Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
