Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't turn off my feet"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
