very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
