If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
