Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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