Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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