We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
