How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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