Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
